The Dysfunction of the Black Family 3: We don't know when to be grown

Greeting Brothers and Sisters!
What a great day it is in the Lord. 

The actual title of this post is: We are children when it comes to Satan; but we are grown when it comes to God.

Our families are not producing quality fruit- agree or disagree?  This entire series hinges on that one statement.  We are not as a group of people producing the kind of fruit needed for the kingdom of God.  Of course, there are pockets of good fruit, but in a larger context, we resemble the fig tree in Matthew 21:19.  Thus, the purpose of this series is to examine our family culture and attitudes through the lens of the Bible. 

Okay, this post is going to make people mad.  I already know this.  Bring it on. 

Our families behave like children when it comes to things of Satan:  we go to the devil with our arms open, our mouths open, our ears open, our hearts open, our minds open and we want everything our enemy wants to give us.  We do this as adults, and we pass on these covert attitudes to our children, so they too will go to our enemy with open arms. 

This point boils down to what we value, and how we make the determination if something is valuable or not.  Our problem is that we put far too high a value on cars, clothes, jewelry, hair (c'mon now), food, and entertainment.  I can even add to the list cell phones.  Thus we unconsciously go after these things, or allow ourselves to be drawn away from the presence of God by these things.  So this is what our children value.

All the enemy has to do is dangle a shiny new phone in our face, or promise us a good time with our friends, or promise us prestige because we have this car; and we flock to him like children to the ice cream truck.  We are the proverbial putty in his hands for these foolish trinkets. 

Or the enemy can allow someone we know to have these things and cause us to be eaten from the inside out with covetousness. 

But when it comes to God we want to be grown.  When it comes to travelling on the narrow road to salvation, we all of a sudden want to follow our own path.  We don't go to God as children like He said.  We get grown up when it comes to the Lord.  Lord, I know I'm not supposed to do this, or do that; but I'm going to do it anyway, cause I'm grown!  Lord, I know I'm supposed to be follwing your example, but I'm not because I'm grown!  So Lord, I'm going to watch what I want to watch, listen to what I want to listen to, buy what I want to buy, go where I want to go, and who I want to go with, because I'm grown! 

And we pass this attitude on to our children as well. 

Is there any wonder why our families fail.  Is there any wonder why our young men go to jail.  We have it backwards.  We are to go to God as little children.  We should get grown with the enemy and tell him what we are and are not going to do. 

Wait, is that an Ice Cream truck I hear..... 

Dysfunction of the Black Family: A Biblical Perspective 2- No Nathans

Today, I attended a home going service for a spiritual father of mine.  He was the Paul to my Timothy, and I will miss him greatly.  If it were not for his counsel and constant encouragement my sons would not have a father in the home, and I would not have a church family, nor a home family.  I can never repay him, and I never got a chance to thank him for what he did.  Praise God that I will have an opportunity on the other side to say all of the things I did not say on this side.

Now, Brothers and Sisters, lets speak about us.  Our families are in disarray, and I believe it is because we have abandoned biblical principals and allowed Ceasar to raise our children and inform how we practice our family lives.  Today's installment is about Nathan.

Who is Nathan, you ask?  Nathan was the prophet who went to King David about his sin.  David was King and he committed adultery, fathered a child out of wedlock, and had the woman's husband killed to cover up his sin.  There had to be people in the kingdom who knew what David did.  He could not have done all of these things without others knowing his crime.  Yet no one, save Nathan, uttered a word to David about his terrible sin.

Which, brings me to my point.  Black families tend to ignore one another's glaring, obvious sinfulness.  We think we are turning the other cheek, but in reality we are being selfish and unloving.  May I submit to you that we are in a sad state because there are too few Nathan's in our homes and in our churches. 

 If our brother goes astray and is unwilling or unable to heed the conviction of the Holy Spirit, then he continues to travel down the wide path of destruction, and we are too selfish to speak a word to Him.  We would prefer to stay comfortable and let our brother go to hell.  

Instead of reproducing Christ-like individuals we are reproducing the sinful culture that we live in because we are afraid to be Nathan's to our loved ones.  For the record, brothers and sisters, if our family is in trouble, here is what the Bible says we need to do:

Matthew 18:

¹⁵ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

¹⁶ But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

¹⁷ And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Brothers and sisters, none of us are perfect.  We have all sinned and there are always people who know about our sin.  But how many times has someone confronted you about you sin in love, like the passage above says.  How many times has someone sought to get you delivered from your own sin?  

We are hateful toward our friends and our family when we do not act as Nathan.  Our silence conveys acceptance.  We do not stand in judgement when we go to our brothers and sisters in love.  We do not condemn our brother and sister.  We only remind them of who they are in the Lord and what the word of God says.  The rest is the work of the spirit.

Let's be more like Nathan.  Let's love one another enough to tell each other the truth.  

Dysfunction of the Black Family from a Biblical Perspective

Brothers and Sisters, I heard a man recently say at a banquet that in African villages a question often asked is this, "and how are the children?"  That question is very important because it is an indicator of how the family as the basic unit of the community is operating.  If the children are well, then the family is probably well, and the community is most likely well.  So, this is the question I ask you now, 'and how are the children?' 

Are the children respectful?  Are they driven?  Are they successful in school?  Are they lovers of God and good?  Do they make good choices most of the time?  Do they know how to be resilient?  Can they control themselves?  Do they consider others around them?  How are the children?

Our beautiful Black children are not well.  It is not their fault, it is ours.  Our children are not well because we have failed them as families.  We have mistreated them and called it love.  Brothers and sisters, let us talk about our beautiful Black families and how they function, or fail to function, from a Biblical perspective.  Let's take the foolish wisdom of man out of the equation and go to the only source where there are real answers that will always be true regardless of the date--God's inerrant word. 

Dysfunction #1- As for me and my house......

Joshua 24:15


New International Version (NIV)



15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”


Before we can enter into a serious conversation about dysfunction, we must first define function.  For my purposes I am defining function simply as performing according to the standards in the Bible.  Therefore dysfunction would be everything that falls outside of that.

Above you will read a familiar verse from Joshua.  In this verse is a declaration that those of us that reside in this home will submit to God.  It is here that I think we must begin.  In order to function correctly, every head must make this declaration and then go about the business of making this happen in our homes.

One of our problems is that we say this thing (see above verse) and then we allow all manner of activity to pervade our lives and the lives of those in our homes.  In short we don't inspect what we expect.  I can hear you all now...."but you cannot force Jesus on people." 

I agree, but if you are the head of your house you have every right to govern what people will say, watch, listen to, read, and participate in under your roof.  Therefore if it is not godly, then it should not be going in a so-called Christian home.  We allow too much Satanic foolishness in our homes in the name of peace, then we want to reign it in when it gets too far out of hand.  The truth is, if we would have never let the mess start in the first place then it would have never had an opportunity to grow. 

According to the word of God;
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

So what we do is allow a little 'sin' in our homes.  It's ok to listen to that music--all the kids are doing it.  But while we are allowing this mess, Satan is busy whispering in our children's ear.  It's ok to watch that TV show, it's just entertainment.  I'm going to wear that outfit because it shows off my good parts.  I'm going to wear those shoes because they are sexy.  I'm going to go to that thing even though I know there is nothing godly about it.  I'm going to that movie, although I know that there is language and scenes that are not Godly.  And as we compromise again and again we give Satan and his world a foothold.  But the word of God says:

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

The first major dysfunction of the Black family is that we have not truly committed to serve the lord.  We pay lip service to serving the lord, but we allow the world into our homes just like every non-Christian home.  Thus we are dysfunctional because we have not truly divested of the world.  When we can truly forsake the world, then we can begin to function the way God wants the family to function.  

More next week.  

Pillar 7: Ressurection, Life and Death

Brothers and Sisters it has been a week of tests and trials.  Thank God we made it through.  I'm so glad that God is so gracious to tell us to cast all of cares upon Him.  I'm not sure I could stand to bear the burden of the cares of this world.  Glory be to God.  Now for the final installation of Pillars of the Faith.

Time is always the enemy of man because man is finite.  Given enough time, man can accomplish anything.  However, none of us has enough time.  We all die, we all run out of time.  But if you are Christian, you really do have all of the time in the world, because Jesus is risen!  Read on.  

Adam and Eve were never meant to die.  They were created to be eternal, like the angels.  They were made in the image of God, and God is eternal.  When sin entered the world through their folly, death became a part of life.  But it was never meant to be that way.

If you read the last post, you would know that God must punish sin, and the punishment for all sin is death.  What is often misunderstood among believer and nonbelievers alike is the meaning of the word death.  Let's look at 2 scripture verses to give us a better idea of what the word of God is saying to us:

1.  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

If we read the verse as a whole we can clearly see that Paul is drawing a contrast between death and eternal life.  If Paul merely means a physical death, then it would make sense to compare that with physical life.  But Paul makes it a point to use the word 'eternal' to qualify his usage of the word life.  Not just 'life' but 'eternal life.'  So we are not just reading about death like an obituary, we are reading about damnation, an eternal death.

2.  “These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Matthew 25:46

Here Matthew is comparing eternal life to eternal punishment.  This is the same eternal punishment referred to by Paul who called it 'death.'  

So we can substitute the word death as it is used in several verses as damnation, or eternal separation from God.  Looking at death this way, we can begin to understand the significance of the resurrection of  Jesus Christ.  

The entire Christian faith hinges on Jesus rising from the dead.  It is based and rooted in the idea that our savior has power to save us from the eternal damnation that will befall each of us if we do not repent and believe.  If Christ did not rise from the grave then our faith would fall apart overnight.  Jesus first became sin, died, and then defeated damnation, and rose.  He became sin and shed his own blood to satisfy the atonement.  He rose again to show that the grave itself, or damnation itself, has no power over Him.  



Our Lord has defeated the ultimate enemy.  He has slain death, and in doing so demonstrated the ultimate power to forgive sins, because sin and death are inseparable.  

Brothers and sisters, because He rose, we can trust that He is everything He said.  He is a true and living God.  He can be trusted to do all He said He would do.  All we have to do is trust Him.  Taste and see that the Lord is good!

Next time we will begin a new topic: Dysfunction and the Black Family---a Biblical Perspective.