Treyvon Martin and the Dysfunction of the Black Family---last chapter

The final installment in this series comes at the end of a summer in which I actually felt the enemy breathing down my neck.  He attacked me on all fronts and I became his punching bag.  Brothers and sisters, I know the word tells me to 'count it all joy,' but I failed miserably.  I became angry, bitter, and I even questioned my creator----and I know better.  I questioned his promises, and purpose for me.  I even asked him to send the chariot for me.  But, here I am; wiser and more prepared for the next time.  What I have learned is that, His grace really is sufficient.  And having that promise securely planted in my heart is worth all of the trouble.

During my exile, I was able to watch and digest some of the Zimmerman trial.  I, like many of you, was obviously outraged that there was no consequences for a young, unarmed (a rock does not fit the definition of an arm unless you are David and use a slingshot),boy being killed.  But we know our justice system is flawed.  In the days and weeks that followed I hoped that we would go into a huddle as a people and really talk about it-------but we didn't.  Not really.  This leads into my topic.

Martin was, like too many black boys, a trouble-making, pants sagging, weed smoking, wanna be thug.  He was suspended from school, which is why he was not in his home town at the time of the incident and he was out hanging late at night.  Those are facts.  You put all of those facts together and it equals a lack of a strong father.

I said it.  Any boy who has been suspended from school should be at home with no TV, no cell phone, no video game, on lock down. I'm not saying Zimmerman was not guilty.  I'm saying, if Martin had a better father, he would have never been out there to begin with.

The final, and most important problem with our community is that we are fatherless.  It hurts me to write it. I I hope it hurts you to read it, because without fathers, we cannot prosper.  Fathers are God's representatives in the home.  They are the ones through which God speaks, and to whom God speaks about the function and direction of the family.  The protection and blessings of a family, biblically speaking, come through the father.

In the 23rd Psalm, we see what a good father will do.  He leads us beside quiet waters, he makes us lie down in green pastures, his rod and staff comfort us.  A fathers job is to provide, protect, lead, and sacrifice for the greater good of the family.  We are missing that in our homes.  We are missing that in our churches.  We are missing fathers who will do those things.  Instead, we have 30, 40, 50 year old boys who have not had the men called out in them yet.  Some cannot hold a job, some cannot settle down with 1 woman, some are unstable because they are double-minded, some are too busy playing video games, or trying to buy Jordan sneakers and tire rims to be good fathers.

Brothers and sisters, we will not know the fullness of God's blessings until we begin to create men who will be good fathers.  Pray for every male in your family today and everyday.  Pray for the ones incarcerated, pray for the ones in college, the ones in the streets.  Pray for them, and tell them you are praying for them.  Invite them to church.  God can turn anyone into what He wants them to be, but that person has to die to self first.  Bring your men to God, and let Him make us the fathers, and husbands he wants us to be.

The Dysfunction of the Black Family 3: We don't know when to be grown

Greeting Brothers and Sisters!
What a great day it is in the Lord. 

The actual title of this post is: We are children when it comes to Satan; but we are grown when it comes to God.

Our families are not producing quality fruit- agree or disagree?  This entire series hinges on that one statement.  We are not as a group of people producing the kind of fruit needed for the kingdom of God.  Of course, there are pockets of good fruit, but in a larger context, we resemble the fig tree in Matthew 21:19.  Thus, the purpose of this series is to examine our family culture and attitudes through the lens of the Bible. 

Okay, this post is going to make people mad.  I already know this.  Bring it on. 

Our families behave like children when it comes to things of Satan:  we go to the devil with our arms open, our mouths open, our ears open, our hearts open, our minds open and we want everything our enemy wants to give us.  We do this as adults, and we pass on these covert attitudes to our children, so they too will go to our enemy with open arms. 

This point boils down to what we value, and how we make the determination if something is valuable or not.  Our problem is that we put far too high a value on cars, clothes, jewelry, hair (c'mon now), food, and entertainment.  I can even add to the list cell phones.  Thus we unconsciously go after these things, or allow ourselves to be drawn away from the presence of God by these things.  So this is what our children value.

All the enemy has to do is dangle a shiny new phone in our face, or promise us a good time with our friends, or promise us prestige because we have this car; and we flock to him like children to the ice cream truck.  We are the proverbial putty in his hands for these foolish trinkets. 

Or the enemy can allow someone we know to have these things and cause us to be eaten from the inside out with covetousness. 

But when it comes to God we want to be grown.  When it comes to travelling on the narrow road to salvation, we all of a sudden want to follow our own path.  We don't go to God as children like He said.  We get grown up when it comes to the Lord.  Lord, I know I'm not supposed to do this, or do that; but I'm going to do it anyway, cause I'm grown!  Lord, I know I'm supposed to be follwing your example, but I'm not because I'm grown!  So Lord, I'm going to watch what I want to watch, listen to what I want to listen to, buy what I want to buy, go where I want to go, and who I want to go with, because I'm grown! 

And we pass this attitude on to our children as well. 

Is there any wonder why our families fail.  Is there any wonder why our young men go to jail.  We have it backwards.  We are to go to God as little children.  We should get grown with the enemy and tell him what we are and are not going to do. 

Wait, is that an Ice Cream truck I hear..... 

Dysfunction of the Black Family: A Biblical Perspective 2- No Nathans

Today, I attended a home going service for a spiritual father of mine.  He was the Paul to my Timothy, and I will miss him greatly.  If it were not for his counsel and constant encouragement my sons would not have a father in the home, and I would not have a church family, nor a home family.  I can never repay him, and I never got a chance to thank him for what he did.  Praise God that I will have an opportunity on the other side to say all of the things I did not say on this side.

Now, Brothers and Sisters, lets speak about us.  Our families are in disarray, and I believe it is because we have abandoned biblical principals and allowed Ceasar to raise our children and inform how we practice our family lives.  Today's installment is about Nathan.

Who is Nathan, you ask?  Nathan was the prophet who went to King David about his sin.  David was King and he committed adultery, fathered a child out of wedlock, and had the woman's husband killed to cover up his sin.  There had to be people in the kingdom who knew what David did.  He could not have done all of these things without others knowing his crime.  Yet no one, save Nathan, uttered a word to David about his terrible sin.

Which, brings me to my point.  Black families tend to ignore one another's glaring, obvious sinfulness.  We think we are turning the other cheek, but in reality we are being selfish and unloving.  May I submit to you that we are in a sad state because there are too few Nathan's in our homes and in our churches. 

 If our brother goes astray and is unwilling or unable to heed the conviction of the Holy Spirit, then he continues to travel down the wide path of destruction, and we are too selfish to speak a word to Him.  We would prefer to stay comfortable and let our brother go to hell.  

Instead of reproducing Christ-like individuals we are reproducing the sinful culture that we live in because we are afraid to be Nathan's to our loved ones.  For the record, brothers and sisters, if our family is in trouble, here is what the Bible says we need to do:

Matthew 18:

¹⁵ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

¹⁶ But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

¹⁷ And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Brothers and sisters, none of us are perfect.  We have all sinned and there are always people who know about our sin.  But how many times has someone confronted you about you sin in love, like the passage above says.  How many times has someone sought to get you delivered from your own sin?  

We are hateful toward our friends and our family when we do not act as Nathan.  Our silence conveys acceptance.  We do not stand in judgement when we go to our brothers and sisters in love.  We do not condemn our brother and sister.  We only remind them of who they are in the Lord and what the word of God says.  The rest is the work of the spirit.

Let's be more like Nathan.  Let's love one another enough to tell each other the truth.  

Dysfunction of the Black Family from a Biblical Perspective

Brothers and Sisters, I heard a man recently say at a banquet that in African villages a question often asked is this, "and how are the children?"  That question is very important because it is an indicator of how the family as the basic unit of the community is operating.  If the children are well, then the family is probably well, and the community is most likely well.  So, this is the question I ask you now, 'and how are the children?' 

Are the children respectful?  Are they driven?  Are they successful in school?  Are they lovers of God and good?  Do they make good choices most of the time?  Do they know how to be resilient?  Can they control themselves?  Do they consider others around them?  How are the children?

Our beautiful Black children are not well.  It is not their fault, it is ours.  Our children are not well because we have failed them as families.  We have mistreated them and called it love.  Brothers and sisters, let us talk about our beautiful Black families and how they function, or fail to function, from a Biblical perspective.  Let's take the foolish wisdom of man out of the equation and go to the only source where there are real answers that will always be true regardless of the date--God's inerrant word. 

Dysfunction #1- As for me and my house......

Joshua 24:15


New International Version (NIV)



15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”


Before we can enter into a serious conversation about dysfunction, we must first define function.  For my purposes I am defining function simply as performing according to the standards in the Bible.  Therefore dysfunction would be everything that falls outside of that.

Above you will read a familiar verse from Joshua.  In this verse is a declaration that those of us that reside in this home will submit to God.  It is here that I think we must begin.  In order to function correctly, every head must make this declaration and then go about the business of making this happen in our homes.

One of our problems is that we say this thing (see above verse) and then we allow all manner of activity to pervade our lives and the lives of those in our homes.  In short we don't inspect what we expect.  I can hear you all now...."but you cannot force Jesus on people." 

I agree, but if you are the head of your house you have every right to govern what people will say, watch, listen to, read, and participate in under your roof.  Therefore if it is not godly, then it should not be going in a so-called Christian home.  We allow too much Satanic foolishness in our homes in the name of peace, then we want to reign it in when it gets too far out of hand.  The truth is, if we would have never let the mess start in the first place then it would have never had an opportunity to grow. 

According to the word of God;
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

So what we do is allow a little 'sin' in our homes.  It's ok to listen to that music--all the kids are doing it.  But while we are allowing this mess, Satan is busy whispering in our children's ear.  It's ok to watch that TV show, it's just entertainment.  I'm going to wear that outfit because it shows off my good parts.  I'm going to wear those shoes because they are sexy.  I'm going to go to that thing even though I know there is nothing godly about it.  I'm going to that movie, although I know that there is language and scenes that are not Godly.  And as we compromise again and again we give Satan and his world a foothold.  But the word of God says:

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

The first major dysfunction of the Black family is that we have not truly committed to serve the lord.  We pay lip service to serving the lord, but we allow the world into our homes just like every non-Christian home.  Thus we are dysfunctional because we have not truly divested of the world.  When we can truly forsake the world, then we can begin to function the way God wants the family to function.  

More next week.