Love Doctor 12: Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

In the last post we looked at how Love, agape love, is not easily angered.  We pointed out that anger is the result of selfishness and the remedy to anger is to remember God's grace.  Here, we will look at the next descriptor of love according to the apostle Paul.  It is in bold below. 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Brothers and Sisters, it is clear here, that in order to love without limits this has to be deeply rooted in our consciousness.  To love one another as God loves us, to participate in true agape love we have to understand this.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  At the core of true love lies forgiveness. 

We have all heard some Christian person say this: I forgive, but I do not forget.  Well I am by no means a scholar that can quote scripture, or exegete biblical texts.  However, I can read.  And anyone who says that is speaking directly in contradiction to the word of God.  LET THAT SINK IN.   When we forgive, we must forget.  We must not keep a record of wrongs!

I am reminded of a family that I know that has been utterly decimated by the violation of this principal.  They no longer speak to one another because each has maintained a running record of what the other has done to wrong them.  They both say they forgive the other, but they have not forgotten what the other has done.  They have held on to the pain caused by some distant transgression. 

Stay with me here brothers and sisters.  That pain is fertile soil.  The actual transgression is a seed.  The remembering of that pain is the water.  When the three have combined, they produce a root structure of bitterness that causes all other relationships, and spiritual fruit to decay and wither.  When we remember wrongs we poison ourselves, and cripple our walk with God. 

Bitterness is not a fruit, but a root.  It is deep and causes us to produce fruit that rotten, putrid, and sour.  Look at what the bible says about bitterness:

1. God's Word warns us against the dangers of bitterness.

• Proverbs 18:19 [When we allow ourselves to become bitter against others, we create walls difficult to overcome, which isolates us from others.] A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
• Acts 8:22,23 [Bitterness is a sin to be repented of.] Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. 23 For I perceive that thou art in the gall [poison] of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.
• Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
• Hebrews 12:15 [Be on guard against it, because even a little root of bitterness can do much harm to you and others.] Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled [contaminated]. [See also Deuteronomy 29:18.]
• James 3:14 If ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not [don't brag about it.], and lie not against the truth.

In my own life, I admit, I was so very angry at my earthly father.  As a young man I harbored all manner of ill will toward him.  He elected to not be around in my life.  He essentially abandoned me, and I resented him for it.  When I came to understand that Jesus had forgiven me of all my transgressions, then I could see clear to forgive my earthly father of his.  Because the lord has given me strength and wisdom to do this, two souls have been set free.  Praise God! 

If you are married, learn to forgive and to ask forgiveness.  See to it that your spouse knows that you harbor no remembrance of what they have done in the past.  Confess your love for them without attaching it to past, present, or future performance and watch them grow exponentially!  Watch them cover you with love and companionship that can only come when we have assurance that our transgressions cannot shake the foundations of love in the relationship.  It is the same with every relationship we have. 

Lastly, you may be wondering how to combat the root of bitterness.  What do you do when it has taken up residence in your heart.  It is the same as any deep sin.  Believe in the power of Jesus Christ to deliver us.  Repent of our sins.  Pray and fast for deliverance.  Remember that God is not bitter toward us.  He loved us enough to send his son to die for us.  We must love each other enough to forgive others of their tresspasses, and not be bitter toward one another.