On Love and Grief

Brothers and Sisters I have been neglecting you and I apologize for that.  But I have returned with the following thoughts about love.

I have learned that love is a gift that we give to those which we choose.  As such it is free, and should be given with no expectations of reciprocity. 

Then we must determine that there are really two kinds of love.

On the one hand there is love returned.  Love returned is beautiful.  It is the mother and child looking into each others eye's and smiling at some private thing.  It is the elderly couple holding hands after 30 years of marriage.  It is the young couple dancing as if there is no one else in the room. The beauty of this love is enough to make the toughest man misty eyed because placed deep inside all of us is the desire to experience this type of mutual love.  

The returned love allows its participants to truly be themselves and know that they are sufficient just as they are without additions or subtractions. 

This type of love is a picture of Christ and his church.  He loves them and they have acknowledged and returnedbhis love.  This is the picture of Christ as the bridegroom.   Christ's love allows us to be full of love and pour out that love on others.  Because just as Christ loves his church, so then, does He love the unbelievers.  

This then leads to the second form of love.  This type of love is unreturned love.  It is when one person loves another but that love is unreturned. 

This is the mother whose face is filled with pain as the child she loves continues to run away over and over again.  This is the wife who knows her husband is cheating and she still makes his lunch and kisses him goodbye everyday.  This is our Lord inviting the world to accept his love and sacrifice only to have people persecute Him and those that love him. 

This 2nd type of love produces a deep grief.  It is still love but it is sad and it is painful.  The object of the love is an ever present reminder that somehow the love giver is unworthy of the object's affection.  In the mind of the love giver they are less than what they should be in the eyes of the object.

Which love then is of more value?
I would say the second type of love has more value for strengthing the spirit.  It produces grief but it also works to conform us to the image of Christ. 

Christ went to the cross to die for the very same people that not only did not love Him but they also ridiculed and beat him.  Yet he loved them enough to endure the pain so that he could save them.

Knowing as much as I do concerning unreturned love I must say that it is both the most painful and wonderful thing that could happen to a person.   It actually deepens your love for that person by removing all conditions.  So you no longer care if the person mistreats you,
Or has not made you a priority, or is mean to you and nice to eveyone else.  All of that pain is transformed into to love for that person that is exceedingly great and boundless. 

This second kind of love, brothers and sisters,  will give you more understanding of the Gospel than anything else.  So if you have a relationship like this do not give up.  Just know that God is at work in your life and that you by continuing to love are storing up treasures for yourself on the other side.