Free Will and Pain

You have heard that life is a journey.

You have heard that life is a box of chocolates.

I say to you that life is a multitude of journeys and each journey is its own separate box of chocolates.

I am nearing the end of one of my great journeys.  And as I press on over the final peak I cannot see what lies ahead because of the fog. 

I believe that I have lived with false hope for a very long time that God would not allow this particular journey to end.  I have prayed and fasted and obviously misinterpreted scripture,  believing that God would move on my behalf. 

What I just now realized is that in order for God to move on my behalf he must interfere with the free will of another. 
And while God can do that,  I realize that this is something He wont do.

I am greatful for God not affecting our free will.  You see, brothers and sisters, our free will is what makes us free.  God wants us all to be free.  So he chooses not to cause us to do anything.  But rather allows us to choose on our own. 

Free will allows us to love one another and love God.  If God put limits on us and we love Him then that is not love, but bondage.  So the act of allowing us to have free will also allows us to love unconditionally. 

So then I have been foolish.  I submit this to the reader in hopes that someone else will be helped.  I trusted God as long a I believed he would fix it.  I found every verse in the Bible about it and I read them again and again.  I knew God would move if I just stayed still.  But He did not.  Because what I asked for was His desire, but it was not the will of the other party.  And I was expecting God to give me favor with the person.  But that is an issue of free will.  And that was just recently revealed to me.  And I have been angry ever since I realized what a fool I was. 

Doors close and windows dont always open.  Things are lost and stay lost and are not replaced.  Broken hearts are not always  mended.  People leave and dont return.  Dogs die.  Things end.

But I have to remember two things.  1.  God is sovereign.  2. God is good.  So if the one in control of everything is good then there must be purpose for all of this pain I am in.  I dont see it now, but I will.  I dont understand it now but I trust God to sustain and lead me to where He wants me to go. 

Naomi lost a husband and two sons.   Her loss became a blessing for all of mankind.   Job lost everything and God gave it right back.  The Hebrews lost their freedom many times, and today they are back in the promised land. 

I dont know what God is doing.  Or why this happening to me.  I will trust the Lord and lean not on my own understanding.
Paul said this and I must commit this to memory because I will need it

11Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

 12  I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

 13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.