The Love Doctor Part 3- Love is Kind

Brothers and Sisters, we examined Agape love as being patient in the last post. Let us not forget that patience is long suffering and not easily wounded. Being patient allows us to forgive over and over again without developing a resentment for those who wrong us. Patience allows us to keep our hearts soft and not put up the rocky walls to keep ourselves from being hurt. It is imperative that we allow the holy spirit to keep our hearts soft and forgiving. He will do it if we allow Him to work in us.

Look at the New Living Translation of Ezekiel 36:26

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.



Patience allows us to keep spreading our arms wide, although the subject of our love continually slaps us in the face. Patience in love, is not easy.

Kindness is an equally difficult, but integral part of Agape love. Oh, it is easy enough to be kind when people are kind to us; but Paul did not qualify his statements. Love is kind in the face of the most hateful, demeaning, painful, ugliness a human can endure. Love is kind because love is kind. That is the nature of love. Sugar is sweet, because that is the nature of sugar. That nature does not change when you boil it, freeze it, dissolve it, or put it on Corn Flakes. Love is kind when it has not gotten enough sleep. It is kind when it's needs have not been met. It is kind when it is hungry. It is even kind when it is pain.

Beloved, we live in a society of excuses. We are quick to excuse our unkindness on outside circumstances, or on emotional turmoil.

"I had a headache, and I just wasn't myself, so I said some mean things I didn't want to say."

"I had a lot of pent up anger, so I just let loose."

"My spouse and I had been fighting, I was feeling mad, so I just told him/her off."

"I missed breakfast, and I was not in the mood, so I gave him/her a piece of my mind."

"I didn't have anything nice to say, so I just ignored him/her."

Does any of that sound familiar. These are excuses we use everyday for being unkind. Beloved, this is hard. However, I have come to believe that our unkindness is not a problem, it is a symptom. We are unkind to one another because we do not understand love. Our lack of love is the illness. Being mean is just a manifestation.

We must begin to love one another enough to allow the Holy Spirit to subdue the hatefulness that lies in all of us, both in thought and word. Our flesh will tell us that we must lash out, and vent our emotions on others in order to 'feel' better. But the word of God tells us to 'be slow to anger,' and 'cast all our cares upon Him.' Look at what Jesus says to Peter:

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]

That is the standard. We should all be striving to meet the standard Jesus set for us. As Christians, we are to work to conform our lives to the mold Christ left for us. This week beloved, I challenge all of you to be mindful of your words and your actions. We are to be 'living epistles,' and God's representatives on earth. The world needs to see God's kindness in us, especially in the face of adversity.

Next week- Is Kindness weak?

Love is Patient

Folks, we live in a deceptive culture.  Oftentimes our beliefs and expectations have been so shaped by Hollywood and technology that we don't even realize how weak our collective resolve has become.  We no longer believe that patience is a 'virtue'.  Oh, we may say we believe that, but our actions are very different.  In the first of his most excellent statements on love, the apostle Paul writes that "Love is Patient".

Read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-10

4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.



Let's look at what Paul did not say.  He did not say love should be patient.  He did not say love is sometimes patient.  He did not say that love is mostly patient.  He wrote precisely what the Holy Spirit told him to write, and that was, Love is patient.  What is more telling, is that he listed patience first among the litany of other descriptors of love.  This indicates that patience within the context of love is important.

What, then, is patience?  Patience is the quality of being able to be hurt, embarrassed, or provoked to anger by another person without resentment, or revenge.  Read the previous sentence again.  Patience, brothers and sisters is developing a thick skin that will allow us to be hurt over and over again without ceasing to love the ones that hurt us.  It is a very Christ-like quality.  While Christ suffered on the cross for those that laughed at him, made fun of him, physically hurt him; we tend to want to rebuke someone for stepping on our Nike tennis shoe.  How wretched are we? 

A perfect example of loving patience is the Civil Rights Movement.  Those brothers and sisters loved so deeply that they would not retaliate against angry people who mowed them down with fire hoses, loosed vicious dogs on them, beat them with clubs, and even hung their beautiful babies from trees.  Just thinking about it makes me angry.  Yet, the Black people in the movement had enough loving patience to endure until victory was won! (Yes folks, there were many victories, it is us that are making a mockery of all they fought for--those beautiful people didn't get beat on so Lil Wayne and those other fools can walk around here like idiots.  And those are our heroes.  How wretched are we?)

How then does patience relate to love?  We are going to hurt one another.  There is no way around it, except to go through it.  Husbands, your wives will cause you pain.  Wives, your husbands will cause you pain.  Parents your children will cause you pain.  Children, your parents will cause you pain.  Brothers and sisters, your sibling will cause you pain.  Friends, your...you get the picture.  It is an inescapable aspect of life.  We hurt those that are closest to us, and those that are not so close to us.  Without patience, love transforms into a much lesser form of itself.  Without patience love becomes conditional, and we only love people when they make us feel good.  Thus, we would abandon our loved ones when they need us the most. 

When we are operating in impatience, we are not being loving.    Husbands, we are to be the ministers in our homes.  We must operate in patience, or we are indirectly communicating to our wives, and/or children that we either do not love them, or we are not mature enough to love them the way God commands us to love.