A Phone Call Story

In my previous post we talked about the Christian and the idea of being cool.  There are many more things to say about that, but we are going to look at another topic today.  I would contend that if a Christian could deal successfully navigate this particular area, it will allow them access a level of connection with God through the Holy Spirit that would allow for tremendous spiritual growth.  

Last year I was sitting in my office when I received a telephone call.  It was a lady who lived near the school where I work and she was upset about the marquee-saying that we were attracting the wrong students by putting our messages in English and Spanish.  She proceeded to tell me that the sign represented the reason your school had the wrong kinds of students.  Rage and defensiveness welled up in me and I unleashed on her a terrible lashing with my unbridled tongue.  I don't recall what I uttered, but it was by no means loving or God Honoring.  Thank God for the Holy Spirit who convicted me, after the anger subsided, to apologize to the woman.  Not as a function of my job, but as a function of my faith.  

The following day I searched through the numbers in my phone to no avail.  I could not tell which number was hers, so I was not able to give the apology I deeply wanted to give.  But God opened a door and she called back.  She apologized first, and she said she was a Christian and then I commented that I shared a like faith, and an equally like apology.  The proverbial weight was lifted from my shoulders.  I thank God that He is always so graceful.  

That anecdote, has a lot in it.  There was first a misunderstanding, followed by anger, then apology, forgiveness and reconciliation.  Each one of those things is important in the life of a Christian.  We should look at them all, but today we'll only address the root cause of the original misunderstanding---- PRIDE. 

Yes folks, pride.  My simple definition of pride is putting yourself above others.  Pride is the original sin, the sin that allowed Satan to rebel against God.  If our sin nature is a solar system, then Pride is the sun which all other sins revolve around.  

In my case, my pride made it impossible to listen with empathy to the lady on the phone.  It caused me to leap into a defense instead of calmly giving logical reasons for the marquee.  The truth is, I never understood her argument, and that led to a misunderstanding.  Proverbs 4:7 states that we need to get understanding.  

You all are thinking, where is he going with all of this.  Here it is.  Our pride gets in the way of us understanding others.  If we do not understand others we can never truly present the gospel of Christ in a way that they will understand.  We will never understand where to start.  Instead, we act from a defensive stance, attempting to defend our faith which never needs to be defended.  It only needs to be lovingly explained.  Our pride makes us loose site of the mission---to win souls.  

The remedy to our foolish pride is love and humility.  Neither of these things live in the flesh.  The antidote is to live in the spirit.  To crucify our flesh daily and be guided daily by the Holy Spirit.  This is only done through prayer, study, prayer and spending time in the word of God.  

Brothers and Sisters, this is my challenge to us: to root out pride wherever it may hide in our hearts and minds.  To go after it like a doctor goes after cancer cells.  To pray and read and study until we have allowed God to cleanse us that we may be used by Him.

The Love Doctor 11: Love is not easily angered

If you are like me, you don't want to miss the Christmas tradition of watching "A Christmas Story" on TBS or TNT or whatever channel when they show it on Christmas Day.  It is a very funny movie.  When I think of anger, my thoughts always drift to the father in the movie.  Watch this clip before you continue reading. In it the son, Ralphie has just dropped the f bomb in front of his father and his mother is engaging in torture tactics to get him to reveal who taught him such language.




I love it when Ralphie says his dad works in profanity like an artist works in clay (or whatever medium he said). It is there that I find my old man (that old man is me before I got saved, not my father). Folks, I was an angry son of a gun before I knew Christ. I would, like Ralphie's dad, use foul language, raise my voice, slam things around, throw things, and feel justified in doing so all at once. I am so glad that the blood of Jesus atones for all sins.

Our text comes from 1 Corinthians 13,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - NIV)

Before I knew Christ, I did not know love. I knew emotion, feeling, raw and unchecked. What I knew is how I felt at the time in my heart. But read this:

"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? Jeremiah 17:9.

By following my heart and believing that this was the correct thing to do, I was consistently harming myself, and those around me. I was quick to anger, and those closest to me saw it and heard it most often. And I was following my heart. I was doing what my heart told me. You see, brothers and sisters, if you follow your heart you are following after wickedness, because your heart is wicked.

Being angry is natural for me. It is natural for me to get irritated with the girl at the Food Lion who cannot seem to keep up with the volume of customers in her line. It is natural for me to fly off the handle when someone keeps me waiting. How dare they! Thank God for His grace and wisdom that has taught me to die to myself. Thank God for his mercy that has forgiven me of my anger, and delivered me from the same.

What my anger told the ones I professed to love was that I love you when you please me, otherwise, I want to kill you! You may say, wait a second, slow down. Anger doesn't mean you want to murder. Read this:

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: Matthew 5:21-24.

Jesus has likened anger to murder. Who are you to say differently? When Paul writes that love is not easily angered, he is saying that we must not be so selfish as to put our needs above others. One may ask the question, what does anger have to do with selfishness? My answer to that is everything. We become angry when others cause circumstances in our lives to be contrary to what we desire. Anger is the self following after what it wants. It contradicts agape love, which demands the displacement of the self in favor of others.

Brothers and sisters, I believe that the world has become an angry place because it has become a selfish place. We have every inclination catered to all day every day. We want what we want when we want it, and when we don't get it we become irate children throwing temper tantrums.

The remedy for such detestable behavior is the remembrance of the love of God. While God has every reason to be angry with us (I've given him several reasons already today), he allows his grace and mercy to abound more than his anger. He loves us so much that he does not give us what we deserve. Instead of death, he has given us life through His son Jesus Christ. Therefore brothers and sisters, instead of being angry, let us all be gracious toward our fellow man as our lord God has been with us.

The Love Doctor Part 4: Kindness is not Weakness!



My inner nerd will be revealed in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!  Let's talk about one of my favorite hero tales--- Star Wars.  My 5 year old son would agree with me that it is an outstanding saga.  It is amazing to me how pervasive God's truth is, that we can even see it in such a grandly fictitious work as Star Wars.  What truth is that?  I'm glad you asked.



In Star Wars, Yoda, the wise elderly Jedi, denied training young Anakin Skywalker because he said the young man harbored too much fear.  Of course, he was trained anyway and became the evil Darth Vader.  What Yoda understood is that fear is the path to anger.  Anger is the path to the dark side. 

I know your thinking, what is this fool talking about.  Continue reading.  In our series on agape love, you will remember that we are discussing the idea that 'love is kind'.   I would suggest to the reader that kindness, contrary to popular belief, is not weakness.  If fear leads to anger--- and from my experience it does; then kindness, as it is manifested in agape love, cannot have fear as its root.  True kindness and anger are on opposite ends of the spectrum.  If fear is the root, then kindness cannot be the fruit.  Jesus said we will know a tree by its fruit.  A bad tree cannot produce good fruit.  Fear and anger cannot produce kindness.

What then can we say is the root of kindness, if not weakness, or fear.  Agape love is the root of true kindness.  Love allows us to be kind to those that hate us.  It allows us to be salt and light to those who spit in our faces.  When we have experienced God's unconditional love, and we really understand Jesus' sacrifice; then that love gives us the strength to be kind in the face of every circumstance.  Not from a place of weakness, or timidity, but out of a strong love built upon an immovable fortress that is God.  If you are still having trouble understanding the strength it takes to be kind, then look at this last illustration.

One day I went to work and I walked around all day with noticeable breakfast residue on my face.  I didn't realize it till I got home and really looked in the mirror.  In the course of a day I come in contact with literally hundreds of people who know my name.  No one told me.  What people did was allow me to walk around looking foolish so that they would not have to be uncomfortable when they told me I had egg on my face.  For some horrible reason we have come to believe that being kind means we don't tell people when something is askew, or amiss.

My question is this---what if my fly was open, or my shoe was untied?  What if I was about to step on a slick spot on a hard floor?  What if I was engaging in some sort of destructive behavior that was legal, but immoral?  Would anyone counsel me then?!  If we were kind to each other and not cowards then we would tell each other the truth in love.  Kindness requires a fortitude that we don't have naturally.  True kindness that comes from agape love is strong and unyielding.  It says and does kind things even if the recipient of the kindness does not receive it well.  Is it unkind to tell your brother or sister when they are doing something that will lead to their eternal damnation?  Is it kinder to allow them to proceed down a path to destruction, while you remain silent?!!!!  Kindness is not weak. 

When that coworker is wearing that dress that is too revealing--- do you tell her ladies? 
When that buddy's drinking is getting out of control---do you let him know gentlemen?
When that child is spending way too much time playing video games do you put a stop to it parents?
When that lost soul is falling deeper into the enemies grip, do you share your faith Christian?
If you are a Christian and you know the truth, how much do you have to hate someone to not tell them about Jesus? 

The kindness that springs forth from agape love allows us to share the truth of the gospel with the unsaved.  It provides us with the courage necessary to say what needs to be said, and do what needs to be done, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes us.