The Love Doctor Part 3- Love is Kind

Brothers and Sisters, we examined Agape love as being patient in the last post. Let us not forget that patience is long suffering and not easily wounded. Being patient allows us to forgive over and over again without developing a resentment for those who wrong us. Patience allows us to keep our hearts soft and not put up the rocky walls to keep ourselves from being hurt. It is imperative that we allow the holy spirit to keep our hearts soft and forgiving. He will do it if we allow Him to work in us.

Look at the New Living Translation of Ezekiel 36:26

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.



Patience allows us to keep spreading our arms wide, although the subject of our love continually slaps us in the face. Patience in love, is not easy.

Kindness is an equally difficult, but integral part of Agape love. Oh, it is easy enough to be kind when people are kind to us; but Paul did not qualify his statements. Love is kind in the face of the most hateful, demeaning, painful, ugliness a human can endure. Love is kind because love is kind. That is the nature of love. Sugar is sweet, because that is the nature of sugar. That nature does not change when you boil it, freeze it, dissolve it, or put it on Corn Flakes. Love is kind when it has not gotten enough sleep. It is kind when it's needs have not been met. It is kind when it is hungry. It is even kind when it is pain.

Beloved, we live in a society of excuses. We are quick to excuse our unkindness on outside circumstances, or on emotional turmoil.

"I had a headache, and I just wasn't myself, so I said some mean things I didn't want to say."

"I had a lot of pent up anger, so I just let loose."

"My spouse and I had been fighting, I was feeling mad, so I just told him/her off."

"I missed breakfast, and I was not in the mood, so I gave him/her a piece of my mind."

"I didn't have anything nice to say, so I just ignored him/her."

Does any of that sound familiar. These are excuses we use everyday for being unkind. Beloved, this is hard. However, I have come to believe that our unkindness is not a problem, it is a symptom. We are unkind to one another because we do not understand love. Our lack of love is the illness. Being mean is just a manifestation.

We must begin to love one another enough to allow the Holy Spirit to subdue the hatefulness that lies in all of us, both in thought and word. Our flesh will tell us that we must lash out, and vent our emotions on others in order to 'feel' better. But the word of God tells us to 'be slow to anger,' and 'cast all our cares upon Him.' Look at what Jesus says to Peter:

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]

That is the standard. We should all be striving to meet the standard Jesus set for us. As Christians, we are to work to conform our lives to the mold Christ left for us. This week beloved, I challenge all of you to be mindful of your words and your actions. We are to be 'living epistles,' and God's representatives on earth. The world needs to see God's kindness in us, especially in the face of adversity.

Next week- Is Kindness weak?

Love is Patient

Folks, we live in a deceptive culture.  Oftentimes our beliefs and expectations have been so shaped by Hollywood and technology that we don't even realize how weak our collective resolve has become.  We no longer believe that patience is a 'virtue'.  Oh, we may say we believe that, but our actions are very different.  In the first of his most excellent statements on love, the apostle Paul writes that "Love is Patient".

Read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-10

4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.



Let's look at what Paul did not say.  He did not say love should be patient.  He did not say love is sometimes patient.  He did not say that love is mostly patient.  He wrote precisely what the Holy Spirit told him to write, and that was, Love is patient.  What is more telling, is that he listed patience first among the litany of other descriptors of love.  This indicates that patience within the context of love is important.

What, then, is patience?  Patience is the quality of being able to be hurt, embarrassed, or provoked to anger by another person without resentment, or revenge.  Read the previous sentence again.  Patience, brothers and sisters is developing a thick skin that will allow us to be hurt over and over again without ceasing to love the ones that hurt us.  It is a very Christ-like quality.  While Christ suffered on the cross for those that laughed at him, made fun of him, physically hurt him; we tend to want to rebuke someone for stepping on our Nike tennis shoe.  How wretched are we? 

A perfect example of loving patience is the Civil Rights Movement.  Those brothers and sisters loved so deeply that they would not retaliate against angry people who mowed them down with fire hoses, loosed vicious dogs on them, beat them with clubs, and even hung their beautiful babies from trees.  Just thinking about it makes me angry.  Yet, the Black people in the movement had enough loving patience to endure until victory was won! (Yes folks, there were many victories, it is us that are making a mockery of all they fought for--those beautiful people didn't get beat on so Lil Wayne and those other fools can walk around here like idiots.  And those are our heroes.  How wretched are we?)

How then does patience relate to love?  We are going to hurt one another.  There is no way around it, except to go through it.  Husbands, your wives will cause you pain.  Wives, your husbands will cause you pain.  Parents your children will cause you pain.  Children, your parents will cause you pain.  Brothers and sisters, your sibling will cause you pain.  Friends, your...you get the picture.  It is an inescapable aspect of life.  We hurt those that are closest to us, and those that are not so close to us.  Without patience, love transforms into a much lesser form of itself.  Without patience love becomes conditional, and we only love people when they make us feel good.  Thus, we would abandon our loved ones when they need us the most. 

When we are operating in impatience, we are not being loving.    Husbands, we are to be the ministers in our homes.  We must operate in patience, or we are indirectly communicating to our wives, and/or children that we either do not love them, or we are not mature enough to love them the way God commands us to love.

The Love Doctor- Part 1

Recent events in my life have caused me to want to search the scriptures as they relate to love. 

Before I dig into it, I'd like to take a moment to define love as I will write about it here.  The love I am referring to here stands in direct contrast to our 'hollywood' conception of love.  The love we will talk about here is the same kind of love God has for all of us.  Read the following scriptures:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' (Matthew 5:43)




But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:44)


If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? (Matthew 5:46)


In these 3 verses is the basic premise of Agape love.  Agape love is the same kind of love that God has for mankind.  It is what we call unconditional love.  Agape love is not contingent on the behavior of others.  It loves others regardless of emotions, feelings, or moods.  It loves even those that seek to do it harm, or hate it. 

It is my opinion, that Agape love frees us of any bondage we may have to this world.  It transcends the human condition and allows us to operate despite our human trappings.  All other forms of love, romantic, brotherly, etc, are lesser types of of the intended form.  For example, we have various types of gold jewelry we can wear if we choose.  However, 24 carat gold is gold in its purest form.  It is better because it is not tainted.  Agape love is not tainted by our human limitations.  It is love in its purest form. 

The Bible talks a lot about love.  That is probably because the Bible is all about God, and God is love (Agape love).  I would like to begin exploring the topic of love in the Bible by taking a close look at how love is described beautifully in 1 Corinthians by Paul.  We will look at the first part in this post and subsequent verses in later posts. This is 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.


Please do not miss this.  What Paul is saying here is that love should be our basis for all that we do.  He is speaking to the very thing that drives us.  Even if we do great and wonderful things, if we do not do them out of love, then it is nothing.  Love has nothing to do with self.  You cannot Agape yourself (I'm not even sure that is legal in every state).  It has to be about God first, and then others.  So our love should be the central motivation of all our actions! 

Now that I understand this principle.  I can see that I have a long way to go.  I often do things so that people will be grateful to me for doing them.  I like to be well thought of.  Sometimes when I am not shown the gratitude I expect, I am a little hurt.  But when my motives are pure, I am never hurt, or disappointed, because I expect nothing in return.  The giving out of love is its own reward. 

What does this look like?  In my many roles, I come into contact with many people.  I once knew a man who worked in the building I worked in on the weekends.  He would pull up to the front in his van, unload a young lady in a wheel chair, and they would both come inside.  I assumed that the young lady was his daughter by the way he catered to her, and spoke so lovingly to her.  One day, I saw him without her and asked him where his daughter was.  He replied that he didn't have daughter.  The lady he was so kind to, so loving with was his wife.  She suffered some sort of brain damage due to a stroke and she was rendered unable to walk, and she could only speak 2 or 3 words at a time.  She was totally unable to take care of herself.  The man told me that he took care of her every need, and he would continue to do so as long as it was physically possible.  This man understood Agape love, and how it should motivate us to act without thinking about ourselves. 

It may be a great idea to look at the people in your life that you claim to love and ask yourself if your love is truly unconditional.  If not, pray that God shows you how to purify your love for others just as his love for you is pure. 

Closing the Doors

We have been examining the 3 doors Satan uses to gain a foothold on our lives.  We have seen that Satan used the same doors with both Eve, and Jesus.  The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life.  Eve saw that the fruit was good, she desired the fruit for food, and she desired the fruit to give her God-like understanding.  Satan used all 3 doors with Eve, and he did so very effectively.  We must never forget how powerful these doors are.  Eve knew God!  She had been able to see God and walk with Him.  She knew God's character.  Yet, she willingly disobeyed Him.

Jesus, praise God, was not so gullible.  Satan used the same 3 doors when he tempted Jesus.  However, what Satan encountered was the rightly interpreted word of God at every threshold.  Satan is a liar.  Thus, he twisted the word of God to try to get Jesus to sin.  Jesus, praise God, would not falter.  He was as a rock that would not be moved.  When confronted with the rightly interpreted word of God, Satan will flee. 

Thus, beloved, brothers and sisters, it is with all candor and gravity that I submit to you that the only way to close the doors to Satan and his demons is to believe in Jesus, and trust in all that He has come to fulfill.  Jesus is the only sinless man.  He is the only one who has successfully resisted all temptation to sin.  Thankfully, he will take up residence in your heart.  The bible says that greater is He that is in thee, than he that is in the world.  That means, when we trust Jesus, he will come and live in our hearts.  Demon's flee at the very name of Jesus.  He will be a mighty fortress against the attacks of Satan.

The other thing we must do is develop a thirst for God.  We must develop a hunger for the things of God.  We must abandon the world in favor of heaven.  We must forsake our very selves, and present ourselves as a sacrifice to God.  When we give up our right to govern ourselves, then the 3 doors hold no sway in our lives.  The doors, lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life, all have to do with self gratification.  When we become new creatures in Christ we are no longer ours.  We have been brought with a price and should gladly go about the work of our good Lord.  When we finally die to this evil world, by seeking to please God, then we gain final and full victory over the 3 doors.   And when that devil comes knocking on any doors, we can sit back and have the King of Kings, the Rose of Sharon, the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega, answer the door!