The Last Love Doctor: Love Never Fails

Brothers and Sisters, I have written this post 4 other times.  It should be the easiest post to write because it summarizes Paul's exposition on love.  Here is our text from 1 Corinthians 13:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails.

This should be the easiest post.  However, one must be very careful not to mislead.  If we talk about love then we must transcend this world and point toward the cross.  Paul's final statement about love is that Love never fails.  Remember, this is not Disney love.  For our purposes here we are talking about Agape- the strongest love.  Agape never fails.

Paul's last statement has been the most difficult for me to reconcile.  I have often witnessed the death of what we commonly refer to as love.  So, how then, can we reconcile what Paul says here with the horrible truth that is our reality?  The truth that we have all been eyewitnesses or participants in love that has indeed failed.

My heart cried out when I reflected on these final words in this section from Paul.  I wanted to say Paul is a filthy liar!  How is it that love never fails when I know love fails.  I have seen love die a multitude of deaths.  I have seen love die in families, in churches, in communities, in friendships, in parent/child relationships, and in marriages.  What does Paul mean love never fails?  Then why is there so much pain in the world?  Why is there so much pain in my world!?  Yes, I compared the word of God to my own life and I cried foul!

But God!
God spoke to my heart as only He can.  He said David, you are a fool.  (I knew that already).  You still think Paul wrote as a man to men.  No David, Paul was writing My words to men.  The problem is not that love fails.  The problem is you still don't understand Agape!  Agape is a picture of my relationship with Israel.  They kept turning away from me, and I kept on loving them.  Agape is a picture of Jesus' love for the world.  When the people who welcomed Jesus into the city turned on Him and yelled 'crucify him' soon after, Jesus said, 'Forgive them Father.'  That is love.  Paul never promised that relationships would never fail.  He said love never fails.

Even though some children cannot stand to be in the same room with their parents, the loving spirit of God in the parent will allow that parent to continue praying for that wayward child.  Even though that boss or coworker treats a person like dirt. My spirit in that person can allow them to love through being mistreated.  Even though that spouse has made the other feel like a leper.  My treasure in that earthen vessel will cause that spouse to stay in the marriage and continue to love the other person.  It is not the person that loves, but the spirit of God in the person that loves. 

So beloved, I will leave you with this logical proof of Paul's great final statement on love.

God is love.
Love never fails.
God never fails.

Love Doctor: Love Endureth All Things

If love, as defined by our fallen culture, has deconstructed me; then love, as defined by God, has recreated me.  Brother's and Sister's I have seen the incredible carnage a selfish love can leave in its enormous wake.  I have also experienced the all encompassing redemption of agape.

Love endureth all things is what Paul says about agape after he writes in 1 Corinthians 13 that love hopes all things.  No matter how much I mediatate on God's word, something new is always revealed to me.  There is a supernatural genius about how this passage is put together.  You see, our hope fuels our ability to endure.  Endurance enables us to continue to love through the storms that test our resolve.

Endure:

1. to remain
   1. to tarry behind
2. to remain i.e. abide, not recede or flee
   1. to preserve: under misfortunes and trials to hold fast to one's faith in Christ
   
   2. to endure, bear bravely and calmly: ill treatments 

 In this culture we have a tendancy to abandon relationships that are not currently functioning the way we would like them to.  Look at the number of abandoned children, or the 50% divorce rate in America.  Look at how often some people switch jobs or doctors.  We are a people that love to jump around and experience new things.  Or abandon ship at the first sign of trouble.  Unfortunately, the creator of the universe values endurance in relationships over the ending of relationships.  You see how we relate to each other is a picture of our relationship with our heavenly father.






Please do not believe that this only applies to marriage, but I'd like to use marriage as an illustration for this principle.  Marriage is a metaphor for God's love for his people, and Jesus' love for the church.  Thus, the husband shall love the wife as Christ loves the church.  Christ will not simply abandon his bride if she burns the bread.  He will not abandon her is she fails to come home one night.  He will not abandon her if she is known to be unfaithful to Him.   He will continue to love her, cherish her, teach her, protect her, regardless of her behavior.  Christ has chosen, or elected his church.  Husbands and wives elect one another.  Once that election occurs, it is sure.

Thus, when we encounter tests in our marriages, we must allow our hope that God's will is being done always to allow us to endure.  Satan will try to break apart everything God has put together.  He is the great divider.  He separated us from our God from the begining.  He will separate us from one another because an isolated Christian will fall faster, further, and harder than one who is loved and supported regardless of their shortcomminngs.

Enduring love, agape love is God's plan for every relationship.  It is the thing that allows us to trust each other.  Stay with me here.  We trust God because he is unchanging.  He is the same today, yesterday and forever.  The same is true of our loved ones.  I cannot put my trust in people's emotions.  Emotions are fickle.  Any trust in emotions is foolishness.  I have walked with God too long to be fooled in that way.  What I have learned (through a very painful, sobering work of the Holy Spirit) is that I can trust in those who rely on the hope of glory to strengthen them to endure through any dumb thing I can think of doing.  And I can think of some pretty dumb things to do.  I cannot trust myself not to grieve people.  The Bible says that the fact I believe in Jesus greives a bunch of people I don't even know.  So I know in this life I will offend.  Therefore, I can only trust in those that rely on God to give them grace to forgive me, and endure my human fraility, as I endure the human frailty of others.  I hope that makes sense.  Love endureth all things. 


 

Love Doctor: Love always hopes

Whew!  I made it back to my task.  Satan is busy; and his business has been keeping me busy.  But, glory be to the most high God that I finally can take a breath and turn my mind once again toward Paul's discourse on love found in 1 Corinthians.

 Here is the text from 1 Corinthians 13.
 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails.
In the last entry we looked at love and trust.  Basically we said that love, agape love, gives people the benefit of the doubt.  Paul follows his statement about trust by saying that love always hopes, or love Hope all things.

Of all the posts on this topic of love; I believe this is the strongest aspect of agape love as we can apply it to our lives.  Love always hopes!  We know that agape is a type of love that is selfless and giving.  It is a mirror of the way God loves us.  We cannot ever repay God for his love, yet he gives it freely and abundantly to all of us. 

What about hope?  Hope means to expect with confidence.  As Christians we know we serve a God that is immutable and omnipotent.  He does not change and he has the ability to do all he says he will do.  Those two attributes, when joined together give us hope that every one of over 3,000 promises made in the Bible will be fulfilled concerning those that have repented and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ.  It is from this place that we can begin to draw upon the hope that we have in Christ; the hope of glory!

So, our agape love must manifest itself in both an inward expectation with confidence, and an outward display of hope.  This is not hope in ourselves, but hope that God will do what he said he will do.   

One author wrote this about hope:

* "When we are trapped in a tunnel of misery, hope points to the light at the end.
* When we are overworked and exhausted, hope gives us fresh energy.
* When we are discouraged, hope lifts our spirits.
* When we are tempted to quit, hope keeps us going.
* When we lose our way and confusion blurs our destination, hope dulls the edge of panic.
* When we struggle with a crippling disease or a lingering illness, hope helps us persevere beyond the pain.
* When we fear the worst, hope brings reminders that God is still in control.
* When we must endure the consequences of bad decisions, hope fuels our recovery.
* When we find ourselves in financial difficulty, hope tells us that we still have a future.
* When we are forced to sit back and wait, hope gives us the patience to trust.
* When we feel rejected and abandoned, hope reminds us we're not alone...we'll make it.
* When we say our final farewell to someone we love, hope in the life beyond gets us through our grief."

(Charles R. Swindoll, Hope Again: When Life Hurts and Dreams Fade, pp.xi,xii)

Brothers and sisters Satan will try his level best (remember he has been practicing his craft since the beginning) to discourage us.  When we are doing well in one area, Satan will attack us somewhere us.  When we are praying without ceasing, Satan will cause us to be too busy to pray for a season.  When we get a promotion at work, Satan will attack a spouse or a parent, or a child.

At a relationship level, Satan will bring confusion and chaos into our relationships with our loved ones in our home and in our church.  He will attempt to bring division through his lies and deceit.  He will bring devastation through addiction to drugs, alcohol, or pornography.  It is during these times that Paul says we must have hope that God has a plan and that plan will come to pass.

 Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 

Hope allows us to persevere.  It causes us to be able to praise God when things are hard.  It allows us to wait on the Lord and pray through every unfavorable circumstance with confident expectation.

Love Doctor: Love always trusts

Let's begin with our scripture (Paul really causes us to reflect deeply here)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Today I want to look a little deeper into love always trusts.  Remember that love here means agape, which is God's perfect, unconditional love.  And I want to begin in the physical and move into the spiritual.

Brothers and Sisters, I almost skipped this one.  Trust seems to be one of those things that does not come naturally for me.  Perhaps I am was born with a flawed trust gene.  I can honestly say, this has been a monster in my life.  But God, true to form, has even taught me how to trust.  Praise Him!

The King James Version does not say love always trusts.  It actually says love believes all things.  Anyone out there has ever seen the damage infidelity can do in a relationship will agree that it is a foolish thing thing to trust when someone has proven themselves untrustworthy.  God is not telling us to be fools.  What Paul is saying here is that we need give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt. 

The word of the day here is intentionality.  I am stricken with the horrid foot-in-the-mouth disease.  Things fly out of my mouth with the greatest intentions of kindness and love; however, the misinterpretation of those same things can leave others with hurt feelings.  Most of the time I think of a better way to say things 2 or 3 days after I have already manifested the symptoms of my ailment.  If people who love me did not trust that I say things with good intentions, I would be a very lonely person.   

Paul is saying to us that when there is a question of malice, or wrongdoing, that we should give the benefit of the doubt and believe that people are not out to harm us.  I think that is where trust begins to work.  Trust begins to work in that space between action and response.  If the action which can be a word or deed occurs, and that causes us some sort of offense, then our loving trust will affect our response.  When we can say to ourselves that whatever that person did that hurt us was not intended to hurt us, and quickly forgive them we are practicing this principal of believing all things.

This principal also allows us to be genuinely affectionate and loving to people.  When we do not look for the best in others we are automatically on our guard and our communication both verbal and nonverbal seems false.  It's that to wide smile or too perky hello (and people pick up on it--don't do that folks).  We cannot be effective witnesses, effective living epistles, if we cannot believe all things.

God loves us with the kind of love Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 13.  God has given us more than the benefit of the doubt through the remission of all sins of believers by the blood of Jesus Christ.  God has said to us that he knows we messed up.  He knows we have fallen short.  But He still loves us,  and he has provided a way for us to maintain a loving relationship with Him.

Love always Protects

Brothers, this one is for us.

If you have not figured it out already, I am a Black man.  As such, I feel like I can write certain things about my people that others cannot.  Brace yourselves brothers, this may sting a bit. 

I was talking to a brother yesterday.  He has a 2 year old son, and his eyes light up when he talks about his wife and his kid.  It was a joy to just listen to him talk about his family.  He has been affected by this economy and he is working a second job, and he was greatful that he has the opportunity to put in some extra hours so he can put his family in a better position.  He didn't complain, he didn't groan, he was the consummate protector, doing whatever he needed to do to make sure his family survives. 

It is not secret that our culture is sick.  It no longer functions as a way to transmit positive values.  Our women are exhausted.  They are jaded on the prospect of finding a decent man.  They are overworked and underappreciated.  They are sagging under the weight of carrying dual roles.  More of our young men are in jail and prison than in college.  And brothers, it is all our fault!  Love always protects, and we have not been protecting our women and children.

 

The apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:7 the following about love

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Brothers, we have not loved our families the way God would have us to love our families for several generations.  Our children and our women bear the scars of our failures.  While we languish in front of the TV playing Madden, or behind bars because we were not man enough to work for what we wanted.  And while we were so busy loving ourselves, and pleasing ourselves, our women were busy playing the man. 

We have failed to protect our loved ones.  The Greek translation of the term is: to cover.  We have not covered our loved ones.  Men it is our job to cover in every circumstance.  We must cover from the elements, cover from hunger, cover from nakedness, cover from the world, cover in prayer, cover in affection, cover in teaching, cover in everything.  We must be willing to go out and fight, and possibly lose our very lives for the ones we love---and not just when we feel brave. 

You'll notice the term always precedes protects.  That term is unconditional.  Always is always.  So we are to put aside our needs to protect the objects of our love regardless of the circumstance. Try this, ask yourself what do you protect?  Your car?  Your home?  Your Jordans?  Your bank account?  Your reputation?  What do you make sure is always secure.  That, my friend is what you love. 

Let's look at this outside of the physical realm.  I'm writing to Christian men now.  Brothers, if we love Jesus, have we sought to protect him?  It is very true, Jesus does not need our protection.  But do we maintain a vigilant heart against those that would pervert, denounce, or otherwise compromise the word of God?  Brothers, if we love Jesus, then how can we allow people to smear his precious name in our presence without uttering a single word? 

Jesus provides the perfect example of protection on the cross.  His blood is our covering.  It conceals our wickedness from a just God who has to punish sin.  Jesus endured terrible pain, and then death to protect us-who he loves.  He gave all for us.  In doing so he provided a prefect example of how far we should be willing to go to cover those we love. 

Men, let's stand up and love our women and children properly.  Let's put ourselves aside and become the protectors God designed us to be.  It begins by repenting and believing in Christ.  Understanding his love and protection is the beginning of understanding how we are to love and protect. 

Love always protects. 

Love Doctor 6: Love is not Jealous

I cannot stop laughing while trying to get this post finished.  I keep thinking about the scene in the 'Five Heartbeats' when the brothers are trying to talk to a lady and they end up talking to this big guy's wife or girlfriend.  He comes up from behind and says, "I got to fight every night to prove my love!"  Then he proceeds to go after one of the brothers.

When we think of jealousy, that is the picture most of us think about.  But we have been examining love as it is so eloquently and perfectly (yes I said perfectly) described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13.  Here is the text starting with verse 4.


Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.


8 Love never fails
 
Of course, in this text the word 'jealous' does not appear, but it does in several other translations.  The translators, I think, interchange the two words envy and jealousy.  In my humble opinion they are two different things, but in this instance they could be interchangeable. 
 
What Paul is saying is that love (agape love) is not jealous?  A perfect love, such as the one God has for us, is not jealous.  Brothers and sisters, this one goes deep.   This is deeper than saying a man should not question his wife's every move.  It is larger than a wife checking through her husbands cell phone for unfamiliar phone numbers.  It is much more than a fight over having friends of the opposite sex.  In this text the hearts of men are exposed and laid bare.  Love is not jealous. 

The word for jealous is the word associated with red face, meaning that one who is jealous has a face that is red with emotion.  Our modern definition says this: 
feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often followed by of ): He was jealous of his rich brother.


2. feeling resentment because of the success, advantage, etc. (often followed by of ): He was jealous of his brother's wealth.

3. characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.

4. inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims: a jealous husband.

5. solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something: The American people are jealous of their freedom.


I think the way it is meant in the text is more closely aligned with definitions 3 and 4.  The definition for number 5 can be more closely attributed to God's own jealousy for his people.  Some may say God cannot love us if he is jealous.  However, the truth is that He can.  The term for jealous is applied differently when the Bible says God is a jealous God. 

Another descriptor of jealousy as it is used in this scripture is that it is a strong emotion attached to one who fervently wants things to transpire as one desires.  It is to this definition that I believe Paul is referring.

If love is both patient and kind, then love cannot attempt to force its will upon the object of said love.  Jealously, as an emotion, will cause us to attempt to control the actions of others so that things will transpire in such a way that is in accordance with our own flawed desires.  When we act jealously, we try to control the object that we say we love. 

This does not work in any form of love, be it agagpe, philos, or eros.  The attempt to control free will is not a manifestation of love.  It is simply a manifestation of sinful jealousy.  That is a hard lesson that I have had to learn.  I beseech all my brothers and sisters to take my word for it before you go down that dark street.  It is most certainly a dead end.  One that I cannot honestly say we can return from without God's intervention in the hearts of those we love.  Did I mention that this is deep.

Love is not jealous.  Therefore, a loving father, like God, will never seek to control His children.  He will teach, and admonish.  He will discipline after a wrong has been committed because he is just.  But, He will not intervene and control their choices, or their actions.  God's love is not jealous in that way, thus, he allows us to exercise what most call, 'free will.'

I hate to use this cliche, but if you love someone you must allow them to be free.  Even if you have every intention of treating them well, and taking care of them; you cannot be jealous and force them to conform to your own ideas.   Even if your ideas are totally aligned with the word of God.   If you really love someone, pray that they will daily die to themselves and become more like the image of Christ.  Minister to them and preach the word to them.  But let them work out their salvation for themselves.  You cannot force them down this path.  They have to walk it themselves.  Pray, pray, and then pray some more that they will make Godly decisions in their lives and allow the Holy Spirit to convict them and direct their paths.  Love is not jealous.

The Love Doctor- Part 1

Recent events in my life have caused me to want to search the scriptures as they relate to love. 

Before I dig into it, I'd like to take a moment to define love as I will write about it here.  The love I am referring to here stands in direct contrast to our 'hollywood' conception of love.  The love we will talk about here is the same kind of love God has for all of us.  Read the following scriptures:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' (Matthew 5:43)




But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:44)


If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? (Matthew 5:46)


In these 3 verses is the basic premise of Agape love.  Agape love is the same kind of love that God has for mankind.  It is what we call unconditional love.  Agape love is not contingent on the behavior of others.  It loves others regardless of emotions, feelings, or moods.  It loves even those that seek to do it harm, or hate it. 

It is my opinion, that Agape love frees us of any bondage we may have to this world.  It transcends the human condition and allows us to operate despite our human trappings.  All other forms of love, romantic, brotherly, etc, are lesser types of of the intended form.  For example, we have various types of gold jewelry we can wear if we choose.  However, 24 carat gold is gold in its purest form.  It is better because it is not tainted.  Agape love is not tainted by our human limitations.  It is love in its purest form. 

The Bible talks a lot about love.  That is probably because the Bible is all about God, and God is love (Agape love).  I would like to begin exploring the topic of love in the Bible by taking a close look at how love is described beautifully in 1 Corinthians by Paul.  We will look at the first part in this post and subsequent verses in later posts. This is 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.


Please do not miss this.  What Paul is saying here is that love should be our basis for all that we do.  He is speaking to the very thing that drives us.  Even if we do great and wonderful things, if we do not do them out of love, then it is nothing.  Love has nothing to do with self.  You cannot Agape yourself (I'm not even sure that is legal in every state).  It has to be about God first, and then others.  So our love should be the central motivation of all our actions! 

Now that I understand this principle.  I can see that I have a long way to go.  I often do things so that people will be grateful to me for doing them.  I like to be well thought of.  Sometimes when I am not shown the gratitude I expect, I am a little hurt.  But when my motives are pure, I am never hurt, or disappointed, because I expect nothing in return.  The giving out of love is its own reward. 

What does this look like?  In my many roles, I come into contact with many people.  I once knew a man who worked in the building I worked in on the weekends.  He would pull up to the front in his van, unload a young lady in a wheel chair, and they would both come inside.  I assumed that the young lady was his daughter by the way he catered to her, and spoke so lovingly to her.  One day, I saw him without her and asked him where his daughter was.  He replied that he didn't have daughter.  The lady he was so kind to, so loving with was his wife.  She suffered some sort of brain damage due to a stroke and she was rendered unable to walk, and she could only speak 2 or 3 words at a time.  She was totally unable to take care of herself.  The man told me that he took care of her every need, and he would continue to do so as long as it was physically possible.  This man understood Agape love, and how it should motivate us to act without thinking about ourselves. 

It may be a great idea to look at the people in your life that you claim to love and ask yourself if your love is truly unconditional.  If not, pray that God shows you how to purify your love for others just as his love for you is pure.