The Love Doctor 13: Love does not delight in evil

My youngest son is 6.  He is, like my oldest, a delightful young man.  The little one is a bit more bouncy and  much more talkative than the big one.  He tends also to have a very tender heart, and an inflated sense of himself which makes for a very interesting combination. 

One day, while playing T-ball he was going to try to catch the ball, and he fell down in the process, missing the ball altogether.  The manner in which he did it, his body position, facial expression, and woeful misjudgement of where the ball would be was comical---as younger children playing anything can sometimes be.  Well, Elijah happened to look in the stands and saw me laughing at his error.  He didn't like that one bit and he let me know.  Elijah does not like to be laughed at unless he is trying to be funny.  Lesson learned, I have tried to not laugh at him when he is serious about something; and his mannerism makes that very hard to do.  I fail from time to time and for a 6 year old, he can give some pretty dirty looks.  Anyway, the topic today is again from Paul's epistle to the Corinthians:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I should not have laughed at my son.  It is clear here that Paul wants us to be on our guard against taking pleasure in other people's misfortune, sin, or the consequences thereof.  That is a rather Innocent example, but look at how that same thing plays itself out in other ways.   Do you enjoy it when that unfaithful spouse is finally caught, and the other spouse is granted a divorce?  When the IRS audits that neighbor who has been claiming his cat and dog on his taxes as dependents, do you breath a sigh of relief?  What about that busybody at the office?  Does your face assume a satisfied look when the boss finally sees all of the trouble that person is causing?  When that fast talking, prosperity preaching television evangelist gets caught up in a scandal, do you post it up on facebook and say I told you so?  Are you happy when someone knocks the stuffing out of that bully at school?  What about that braggart who has been telling everyone about their new car.  When they total loss that car, do you secretly rejoice?  What about when that family member's big 6 room mansion burns to the ground.  Do you celebrate in your inner self as long as everyone gets out safely?

The other day, I was talking to a lady, who has not spoken to her sister in over 5 years because of something her sister did concerning their mother's estate.  In the conversation this little old Christian lady stated over and over again that her sister would get her just reward in this life or the next.  This little old lady who makes snacks and cakes and coffee for the whole building spoke nothing but evil into her sisters life.  But are we not all guilty of delighting in evil? 

Recently I saw a television show of a popular boxer almost coming to blows with his father.  What was worse was what that same man said about his father to his face.  He was so very disrespectful to his father, and the Bible is clear that we are to honor our mother and father.  I did not like the man after I saw that.  Recently, that man got sentenced to jail and I did rejoice.  Why?  Because I was not in the spirit, but in the flesh.  If I had been operating in the spirit, and allowing the fruit of agape love to flow through me, I would have prayed for that young man.  Instead I said to myself---that dude got exactly what he deserved.  I was delighting in evil, and it is right for me to repent of that sin.

Brothers and Sisters, do not rejoice when others fall upon hard times for whatever reason.  Trust me, I know that is easier said than done.  However, you can be more mindful of your heart in this matter now.  Don't you want people to show you compassion when you have evil befall you.  I know I do.  Suffering is real whether it be self-inflicted or otherwise.  The bigger picture is the condition of that persons soul when they die, not necessarily how they live.  Showing compassion to people when they are at their lowest point is a very Christ-like thing to do.  When the world scorns them, Christians should embrace them, pray for them and love them anyway!  Do not delight in evil.

Love Doctor 12: Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

In the last post we looked at how Love, agape love, is not easily angered.  We pointed out that anger is the result of selfishness and the remedy to anger is to remember God's grace.  Here, we will look at the next descriptor of love according to the apostle Paul.  It is in bold below. 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Brothers and Sisters, it is clear here, that in order to love without limits this has to be deeply rooted in our consciousness.  To love one another as God loves us, to participate in true agape love we have to understand this.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  At the core of true love lies forgiveness. 

We have all heard some Christian person say this: I forgive, but I do not forget.  Well I am by no means a scholar that can quote scripture, or exegete biblical texts.  However, I can read.  And anyone who says that is speaking directly in contradiction to the word of God.  LET THAT SINK IN.   When we forgive, we must forget.  We must not keep a record of wrongs!

I am reminded of a family that I know that has been utterly decimated by the violation of this principal.  They no longer speak to one another because each has maintained a running record of what the other has done to wrong them.  They both say they forgive the other, but they have not forgotten what the other has done.  They have held on to the pain caused by some distant transgression. 

Stay with me here brothers and sisters.  That pain is fertile soil.  The actual transgression is a seed.  The remembering of that pain is the water.  When the three have combined, they produce a root structure of bitterness that causes all other relationships, and spiritual fruit to decay and wither.  When we remember wrongs we poison ourselves, and cripple our walk with God. 

Bitterness is not a fruit, but a root.  It is deep and causes us to produce fruit that rotten, putrid, and sour.  Look at what the bible says about bitterness:

1. God's Word warns us against the dangers of bitterness.

• Proverbs 18:19 [When we allow ourselves to become bitter against others, we create walls difficult to overcome, which isolates us from others.] A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
• Acts 8:22,23 [Bitterness is a sin to be repented of.] Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. 23 For I perceive that thou art in the gall [poison] of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.
• Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
• Hebrews 12:15 [Be on guard against it, because even a little root of bitterness can do much harm to you and others.] Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled [contaminated]. [See also Deuteronomy 29:18.]
• James 3:14 If ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not [don't brag about it.], and lie not against the truth.

In my own life, I admit, I was so very angry at my earthly father.  As a young man I harbored all manner of ill will toward him.  He elected to not be around in my life.  He essentially abandoned me, and I resented him for it.  When I came to understand that Jesus had forgiven me of all my transgressions, then I could see clear to forgive my earthly father of his.  Because the lord has given me strength and wisdom to do this, two souls have been set free.  Praise God! 

If you are married, learn to forgive and to ask forgiveness.  See to it that your spouse knows that you harbor no remembrance of what they have done in the past.  Confess your love for them without attaching it to past, present, or future performance and watch them grow exponentially!  Watch them cover you with love and companionship that can only come when we have assurance that our transgressions cannot shake the foundations of love in the relationship.  It is the same with every relationship we have. 

Lastly, you may be wondering how to combat the root of bitterness.  What do you do when it has taken up residence in your heart.  It is the same as any deep sin.  Believe in the power of Jesus Christ to deliver us.  Repent of our sins.  Pray and fast for deliverance.  Remember that God is not bitter toward us.  He loved us enough to send his son to die for us.  We must love each other enough to forgive others of their tresspasses, and not be bitter toward one another. 

The Love Doctor 11: Love is not easily angered

If you are like me, you don't want to miss the Christmas tradition of watching "A Christmas Story" on TBS or TNT or whatever channel when they show it on Christmas Day.  It is a very funny movie.  When I think of anger, my thoughts always drift to the father in the movie.  Watch this clip before you continue reading. In it the son, Ralphie has just dropped the f bomb in front of his father and his mother is engaging in torture tactics to get him to reveal who taught him such language.




I love it when Ralphie says his dad works in profanity like an artist works in clay (or whatever medium he said). It is there that I find my old man (that old man is me before I got saved, not my father). Folks, I was an angry son of a gun before I knew Christ. I would, like Ralphie's dad, use foul language, raise my voice, slam things around, throw things, and feel justified in doing so all at once. I am so glad that the blood of Jesus atones for all sins.

Our text comes from 1 Corinthians 13,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - NIV)

Before I knew Christ, I did not know love. I knew emotion, feeling, raw and unchecked. What I knew is how I felt at the time in my heart. But read this:

"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? Jeremiah 17:9.

By following my heart and believing that this was the correct thing to do, I was consistently harming myself, and those around me. I was quick to anger, and those closest to me saw it and heard it most often. And I was following my heart. I was doing what my heart told me. You see, brothers and sisters, if you follow your heart you are following after wickedness, because your heart is wicked.

Being angry is natural for me. It is natural for me to get irritated with the girl at the Food Lion who cannot seem to keep up with the volume of customers in her line. It is natural for me to fly off the handle when someone keeps me waiting. How dare they! Thank God for His grace and wisdom that has taught me to die to myself. Thank God for his mercy that has forgiven me of my anger, and delivered me from the same.

What my anger told the ones I professed to love was that I love you when you please me, otherwise, I want to kill you! You may say, wait a second, slow down. Anger doesn't mean you want to murder. Read this:

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: Matthew 5:21-24.

Jesus has likened anger to murder. Who are you to say differently? When Paul writes that love is not easily angered, he is saying that we must not be so selfish as to put our needs above others. One may ask the question, what does anger have to do with selfishness? My answer to that is everything. We become angry when others cause circumstances in our lives to be contrary to what we desire. Anger is the self following after what it wants. It contradicts agape love, which demands the displacement of the self in favor of others.

Brothers and sisters, I believe that the world has become an angry place because it has become a selfish place. We have every inclination catered to all day every day. We want what we want when we want it, and when we don't get it we become irate children throwing temper tantrums.

The remedy for such detestable behavior is the remembrance of the love of God. While God has every reason to be angry with us (I've given him several reasons already today), he allows his grace and mercy to abound more than his anger. He loves us so much that he does not give us what we deserve. Instead of death, he has given us life through His son Jesus Christ. Therefore brothers and sisters, instead of being angry, let us all be gracious toward our fellow man as our lord God has been with us.

My Christmas Wish List

Season's Greetings Brothers and Sisters!

I must depart once again from my musings about love, so that I may post my Christmas list.  I have come to the realization that I don't want anything for Christmas that can be bought or unwrapped.  There is nothing that this world has to offer that I truly want or need that I don't already have.  Praise God!  He said he would provide all my needs and he has done so in outstading fashion.  His love and grace are amazing. 

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.


(1 John 2:15-17 ESV)
Matthew 6:32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
 

Yesterday, I picked my 6 year old son Elijah up from his second home.  It was early, because I had to be at work later that morning, and Elijah is extremely alert and aware in the morning (much to the dismay of his mother who may be dressed and moving about by 6 AM, but she is never awake until about 10 AM.)  As we were driving and listening to Christmas music, my son began to ask me about heaven.

"Daddy, will heaven have playgrounds?"
"Daddy, will heaven have people food?"
"Daddy, will heaven have humans or angels?"

That led, of course, to some discussion, and I hope I answered his questions to his satisfaction.  But it led me to think about heaven and eternity.  Which brings me to my Christmas wish list.  I would like nothing more this year than for everyone I know and love to accept the gift of salvation that Jesus came into the world to provide.  I would love nothing more than for all of my friends and family to repent and believe in Jesus, so that I could spend eternity with each and every one of them in paradise. 

"The time is fulfilled, and the Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel."

Christ came into this world to provide us with a suitable sacrifice that would atone for our sins and make us acceptable to God.  If I don't open 1 present this year, it is well with my soul, for my real Christmas gift awaits me on the other side of this life.  Glory to God.  Hallellujah!

The Love Doctor 10: Love is not Selfish

Sometimes, in my attempts to get the words on the screen, I am hasty, and I fail to reference the appropriate scripture.  Before I begin, lets look at our base scripture from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We have examined several of Paul's statements in previous posts.  Today we have come to, love is not self-seeking.  To avoid confusion I will replace the term self-seeking with the term selfish.  Love is not selfish.  Remember brothers and sisters, love is defined here as agape, or unconditional love.  It is epitomized by the type and form of love that God has for us.  It is not 'Disney' love that depends on how a person performs, or makes us feel.  It is a love that transcends our human failures and performs lovingly despite the same. 

So, saying that love is not selfish may require that we examine the ultimate act of selflessness as a comparison to selfishness.  Imagine a father who had 10 children.  9 of them were disobedient little brats that could not manage to follow the father's rules for even 1 day.  So the father, who is a just man, and must punish his children who break the rules, decides that he will set aside the 10th child as a sacrifice (whipping boy) for the other 9.  Now this 10th child never broke 1 rule.  Yet when the time came, the father punishes the 10th child for every single disobedient act of the other 9.  Not only that, but the father punishes the 10th child for every disobedient act of the 9's children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grand children and so on.  The punishment is physical and severe, and the 10th child does it willingly out of love for his brothers and sisters.  Because he knows that the punishment he endures will put his brothers and sisters in a right relationship with the father.  That, my friends, is a picture of what Jesus did for us.  Now of course it is an illustration and it leaves out a lot, but you may get a picture of what unselfish love is. 


Love, without regard for self---what does it look like?  It looks like a mother eating bread and cheese so her babies can eat meat.  It looks like that same mother eating nothing so her children can have bread and cheese.  It is the person who donates a kidney to someone they don't know.  It is loving people without the expectation of any return.  It is an act for which there can truly be no recompense. 

In a marriage unselfish love is putting your spouses needs or wants ahead of yours.  It is driving the lemon, while your spouse gets the good car.  It is sacrificing that warm bed and getting up to make breakfast.  It is a giving a massage when all you want to do is receive one.  Unselfish love is not withholding kinds words, affections, acts, money, or anything you know will bless your spouse.  Trust me folks, it is cold enough in the world.  Your spouse does not need to come home to a frigid house.  Jesus gave everything to us.  Would it kill us to be kind and loving to our mates. 

Now, I cannot let you leave without making you angry with me, or maybe I just did. Christians, we have to love others so much that we are willing to jeopardize our relationship with them to tell them the truth about salvation.  If you are reading this, and you are Christian, you know someone who is going to hell.  Don't rationalize this and say--they can accept Christ on their deathbed.  You don't know how or when that person will die.  You love them, but you don't love them enough to tell them the truth.  That friend who is an atheist.  That cousin who smokes marijuana.  That niece with the questionable facebook pictures on her page.  The married friend who flirts too much.  That person living a gay lifestyle.  We know that these behaviors can be forgiven, but do we tell the person they need to seek His forgiveness?  Do we tell them the truth in love at the right time?  Or do we uphold them in the wrongdoing because we don't love them enough to want to see them in eternity?  Do we rationalize their behavior so we don't have to address it?  Our selfishness will cause us to not engage in conversations because they are uncomfortable.  Love will make us strong enough to endure being uncomfortable for a time to see that the gospel is made clear in the lives of those we love.   Look into the eyes of the one you love, and say to them, "I love you.  You are very important to me.  I want to spend eternity knowing you and I'm afraid for your soul.  This is why."  Then, my friend, tell them what you have witnessed in their lives; and tell them that Jesus will forgive it all, if they repent and believe in Him.  Let unselfish love carry your words, and let God give the increase.